Kansas City, MO::That' right folks, the NFL season opened Sunday when the offensive juggernaut that is the Kansas City Chiefs took on the mighty Minnesota Vikings, whose team color is by far and away the most metro-sexual in the league.
To get a closer look at the experience, The Razzi planted two indivduals into the fan base known as "Chief fans," this past Sunday to see how much we could learn about them and from them. To protect the identity of these two individuals, along with two other Razzi informants involved with this sting, we will refer to them as Lewis and Clark. The informants will be known as Magellan and DeSoto.
The following timeline is based on true events...
1:18am: After a friends birthday party and a few So Co and lime shots, Lewis retires to his shantee.
7:13am: Clark sends text message to Lewis stating, "I like to party."
7:36am: Clark realizes you can't buy ale before 9am on the Sabbath.
8:17am: After assisting other explorers on an expedition by The Cashew, Lewis and Clark follow I-70 East path.
8:49am: Lewis and Clark embark on the quest of crossing Arrowhead Stadium's west belt of parking areas, ale is consumed.
9:07am: DeSoto is located.
9:08am: DeSoto offers the fruits of his findings. His Yahoo Fantasy football password for stat-tracker and an ale called "Golden Light."
10:15am: Lewis, Clark and DeSoto set off in search of other explorers. They think it's 1:30pm. Ale is consumed.
11:41am: Realizing it's not 1;30pm, Lewis and Clark decide to enter Arrowhead Stadium to see if they can locate someone who doesn't have "Summer Teeth."
12:22pm: Clark leads Lewis to what he believes are his season ticket seats, however, he is one section off.
1:08pm: Magellan contacts Lewis and Clark about possibly getting into Suite Land, as ale is consumed.
1:39pm: Magellan speaks to the gatekeeper and Lewis and Clark gain entry in to the Suite Land. Clark's fly is down.
2:28pm: Clark begins to consume Moonshine.
3:17pm Clark almost hurts himself during a "trough" incident.
3:22pm: Magellan and Clark lead Lewis around the back roads of Arrowhead's parking lot using a criss-cross pattern.
3:34pm: Magellan is unsure of which direction he parked.
3:36pm: Magellan locates party.
3:47pm: Lewis drives Clark home.
8:33pm: Clark calls Lewis and thanks him for the ride. Can't find his good walking stick though...
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1 comment:
sounds like an outing for lewis and clark and by outing i mean they are two super gay dudes, keep it gay
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